It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
