I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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