Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
