new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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