think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
