I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
