Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
