Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
