i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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