My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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