everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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