"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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