how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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