you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
