I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
