I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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