Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would ride that face into the sunset
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
