I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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