they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
