That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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