Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
