Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
