a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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