Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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