is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
