But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
