I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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