Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need help removing her.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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