Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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