I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
