I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
