It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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