the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize