Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
