Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize