just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
