why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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