I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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