mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
