After last night, I could never be a politician.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
