so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
