I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
