You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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