I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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