im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
