But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
