I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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