Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
