6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
