Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
