after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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