so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
