I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
