I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
