i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
