I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
