Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
