I wannas sexs uuuuu
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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