What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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