I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
