You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
