My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
