Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
