my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
