Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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