Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
