Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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