Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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