i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
