I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
